Monday, February 7, 2011

It's not right, but it's okay

It’s been one hell of a year.  I am sure I am not the only person thinking this way, if so then something is definately wrong with me.  As I sit and ponder the joys of the upcoming blessings of 2011 I feel the need to reflect on 300-or-so days that have certainly set the bar at all all-time new high (or shall I say LOW).
While this blogging platform is not really the right opportunity to give you a blow-by-blow account of my year (as much as my mild self-obsession would appreciate), I thought I would just run through the highlights, or lowlights:

1.    2010, Year of Bad Bosses: You name it, I have been through it this year.  From my hellish CEO who could not keep track of her diary which I printed onto paper and left on her desk, added to her outlook and kindly updated her blackberry (which even had an alarm! not to mention she had a PA who didnt do her work!), to a self-combusting, menopausal cigarette addict who incidentally kept "forgetting" to pay my salary. There is only TWO OF US, how difficult is it to pay salaries on time?! And the single most annoying boss ever: Das Dragon, who believed holidays were for slackers and thus ensured we all worked from his home during public holidays to catch up on work which was NOT URGENT!! Bring on 2011 and no more Boss-drama.

2.    2010, Year of the Bad Debt Written: My life is no longer my own (wondering if it ever was). I sadly schedule things around time & finances.  Nothing like explaining to friends that I can’t make sundowners because it doesn’t coincide with my empty pocket’s evening ritual.  Or that Saturday morning breakfast catch-ups need to kick off at 11am sharp or we risk the mid morning financial index slump.  Its hell. I found that people around me are very confortable to be in debt. But it makes my skin crawl. Knowing I owe someone money gives me pains everywhere. I wonder if there is a long complicated phobia name for that. (note to self..create a name for the fear of debt!) As I write off all those many people who owe me money, I wonder if 2011 will teach me more patience, more compromise and less control.  It’s the only way you’ll get by with uncertainty.

3.    2010, Year of Financial Crisis: There really is nothing like a financial crisis to put things into perspective.  When you’re faced with the reality that the little creature I call "Comfort" who came into your life when financial stability settled in could potentially (and suddenly) leave just as easily, you start asking yourself all those questions that I would imagine you ask when you’re nearing the end of your days. What truly matters? Is this really important? Can someone else handle this? Who do I need most now?  And perhaps a bit unfairly, you translate this perspective into everything around you.  There are casualties naturally; a few extra gripes and groans, a bit more procrastination and a lot more pressure.  But you know what, it’s worth it. If no one is dead or has a terminal illness, it simply isn’t a crisis...its just a valley to be gotten out of!

4.    2010, Year of  Possibilities: The biggest take out for 2010 (and it’s a positive one!  If you can’t wake up every morning thinking you can truly make a difference, do something cool, try something new, surprise someone or – as I have found – spend ten minutes every night on all fours while your children (in my case niece's & nephew) insists on riding you like a donkey (knee pain & carpet burn not counting), then you really shouldn’t be doing it.  Case Closed!

Make the change, be the change and all that stereotypical stuff you pretend you didnt hear on God Channel. Whatever, just frikken do something.  It’s OK to act stupid, childish (or childlike), naïve, innocent, out-of-control or crazy if it means its filling that gaping hole that suggests you’re missing something in your life.  In fact, I truly recommend it.  Dance like a possessed person.  Practise your Idols audition out loud (not just the shower).  Spin till you fall over.  Have a breakdown.  Whatever.  If you feel really stupid doing it, pop over to my house and we’ll saddle up the munchkins and make you feel like a real ass!

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